Throughout human history, the topic of life after death has been a significant concern, as evidenced by historical records and scientific studies. The inevitability of death is a fact that everyone must come to terms with and face.
Religious individuals mysteriously believe that beyond today, there is a tomorrow where they will stand before the Divine court to be held accountable for their actions and behavior. They also believe they will return to this world to be repaid and, in a way, pay retribution.
According to Jewish scholars and other researchers, Gilgul (i.e., reincarnation) — also known as rebirth or the return of the human soul to this earthly world — depends on past deeds and can occur in one of the following four forms, where the spirit of the deceased person reincarnates in:
1. Inanimate objects ((رسخ )
2. Plants (فسخ )
3. Animals (مسخ )
4. Another human (نسخ یا تناسخ)
Although each of the mentioned points demands an extensive discussion, but since they are beyond the capacity of this article, we will suffice to present a brief explanation of reincarnation and mourning in Judaism, as well as the established laws, in addition to the reasons the survivors observe them.
Jews have buried their deceased with specific rituals based on the Holy Scriptures since ancient times — from the era of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Following those traditions, Jewish scholars have continuously developed specific points and laws (Halacha) concerning the deceased and their survivors. It should be noted that Gilgul (i.e., reincarnation) is mainly discussed in the Jewish religious book “Zohar”, in addition to having multiple interpretations in the Talmud. The Holy Scriptures unequivocally forbid any engagement with such matters, particularly concerning the summoning of spirits. The paramount intent behind adhering to these laws, known as Halacha, is to elevate the departed loved one’s soul.
Humans are said to be created from dust, and a soul is breathed into them. After death, the physical part returns to the earth while the spirit ascends. Since ancient times, Jews would tear their clothes while standing to mourn. They would tear the left side of their clothes if they were grieving their parents and the right side when grieving relatives.
The deceased should be promptly purified and laid to rest. Close relatives of the deceased — i.e., those who bear the religious duty to mourn for their kin (father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter, wife, and husband) — refrain from undertaking any religious mourning obligations until the body is interred.
After a cleansing ritual, the deceased is enveloped in a white linen cloth (shroud) and tied with Tzitzit. The eyes and mouth of the deceased are closed. It is worth noting that coffins are not utilized, and the departed is positioned to face the Holy Temple before being laid to rest in the grave.
The grave is dug based on the size of the deceased, but it is usually two meters long, eighty centimeters wide, and two meters deep. Once the body is placed inside, the grave is filled with soil, and mourners recite the first Kaddish. If they haven’t already torn their clothes upon parting, they do so before reciting the Kaddish. This symbolic act of mourning represents their separation from their departed loved one.
A seven-day mourning period begins after the burial. During these seven days, mourners are expected to stay home, abstain from work, and light a candle. They engage in the recitation of tefillah (Jewish prayers) in the morning, afternoon, and evening, all intending to bring tranquility to the departed soul. It is customary for others to take care of the tasks related to shrouding and burial while the mourners receive comfort. On the first day, it is common to prepare non-meat dishes, such as eggs and lentil rice, symbolizing the cyclical nature of life and unity. The tradition of wearing black clothing has long been obsolete.
Rules related to the thirty-day mourning period:
Halacha says mourners should not trim their hair or beards for thirty days. Typically, all relatives shave after thirty days unless they are mourning a parent. It is customary for friends and close relatives to approach the mourners, asking and encouraging them to shave.
If the thirtieth day falls on Shabbat, they should wait until the end of Shabbat. However, if the thirtieth day coincides with one of the three pilgrimage festivals — that is, Passover, Shavuot, or Sukkot — they can trim before the onset of these festivals. Also, cutting nails during this period is not permitted. Customarily, a mourner for a parent does not participate in joyous occasions for twelve months. They also do not hold wedding ceremonies for a year. When mourning other relatives besides parents, one can marry after thirty days.
Rules of Reciting Kaddish
A customary practice involves reciting the Kaddish and Tefilla for close relatives continuously for 12 months, especially on Shabbat evenings and Sunday nights. The belief is that the destiny of sinners is determined after this year-long period. However, as very few ever regard their parents as sinners, mourners cease reciting the Kaddish after eleven months. Still, Kaddish should be recited on the anniversary of the loved one’s passing or at the start of the new year.
Various customs exist regarding Kaddish recitation. Certain individuals refrain from reciting Kaddish during the initial week of the twelfth month but continue doing so for the subsequent three weeks. Alternatively, another custom involves temporarily discontinuing the recitation of Kaddish at the onset of the twelfth month, only to resume on the Shabbat evening coinciding with the week of the death anniversary and maintain it until the actual anniversary date.
Reciting Hashkavah
The prayer for forgiveness remains permissible during the initial twelve months, but the practice of Hashkavah ceases after this period. However, each year, on the anniversary of the passing, the recitation of Hashkavah resumes.
In the case of Iranian Jews, it is a prevalent custom to remember the names of the departed individuals in various situations, such as Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, where honoring the memory of the deceased is generally accepted. This tradition undoubtedly has ancient roots in the Iranian Jewish community.
The shorter version of the prayer of forgiveness, Hashkavah, is preferred compared to other versions:
O God — the Merciful and Compassionate, You who bestows mercy upon all His creations — have mercy on the souls of all the deceased of the children of Israel, and among them, on the soul of [name of the deceased:]… child of…. May God’s Divine spirit settle him [, the deceased,] with the other resting souls of His community in the Garden of Eden, and may his soul be joyful. Amen.
Anniversary Day
Mourning ceremonies are conducted on the anniversary of a loved one’s passing, but they are somewhat less extensive compared to the initial mourning period. These ceremonies take place during the night and day of the anniversary. The customs include:
1. Tefilla is recited starting from the Friday evening of the week in which the anniversary falls, and the mourner begins to say Kaddish.
2. The survivor is also responsible for reciting Torah portions during the Shabbat service. It is preferable to recite Haftara as well.
3. The mourner reads Mishnah or Tehillim to seek forgiveness for the departed soul.
4. A Neshama candle is lit on the night and day of the anniversary. This candle symbolizes the soul of the departed loved one.
5. In some communities, it is customary to fast on the anniversary of a parent’s death as an act of remembrance and reflection.
If the anniversary falls on a day when fasting is prohibited, one should not fast. If the anniversary coincides with Shabbat, one should fast the day before. Some people do not fast at all in such cases.
Duties of the Kohanim during Mourning:
In the opening of the Parashah of Emor, the Torah addresses the regulations concerning purity and sanctity among the Kohanim. Due to their sacred duties involving sacrifices in the Divine presence within the Holy Temple, Kohanim were held to a higher standard of sanctity, purity, and spirituality compared to the rest of the Children of Israel. Consequently, they were not permitted to engage in mourning activities or participate in burial ceremonies. This religious injunction endures to this day.
During this period, even the children of Kohanim were only allowed to participate in mourning for close relatives for whom they were obligated to mourn. Kohanim were instructed not to involve themselves in purification and burial rituals for non-relatives, especially in the presence of a corpse, and they were prohibited from entering cemeteries.
Important Points During Mourning
• Kabbalists believe that a righteous person’s body is pure and holy due to possessing a soul (Nefesh, Ruach, and Neshama). But since that soul leaves the body upon death, the remaining body becomes impure.
• Those who have lost a loved one are obligated to perform the anniversary ceremony of the deceased. They fulfill their religious duty by reciting Berakhah Muftir or Mishlim, along with Kaddish, and the synagogue congregation also pays their respects.
• Sabbath days and holidays (festivals) prohibit mourning. Still, the Sabbath is considered among the days of mourning for the seventh and thirtieth days after death.
• It is customary to memorialize and elevate the soul of the deceased on the seventh and thirtieth days, the eleventh month, and every death anniversary. The relatives organize a meal, invite close ones, and recite Berakhah Hamotzi and Ha’etz. A mourning ceremony is held.
• The seventh-day regulations conclude on the seventh day after sunrise. The same goes for the thirtieth day, meaning one should not wait until sunset.
• Today, we no longer have the red heifer and the seven-day purification ritual, but we have the Shiva ceremony, which is seven days of mourning. During this time, the survivors receive condolences from their close ones and reconnect with life.
• A mourning person, until the deceased is buried, is exempt from laying Tefillin and reading Tefilla.
• The Siddiq Hadin ceremony and the recitation of Kaddish should be conducted in honor of the deceased, regardless of their gender, including children who have lived for more than thirty days.